I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
Randomize
