and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
Randomize
