What should our trivia night team be named?
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
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Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
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Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
I want Samuel L. Jackson to stand beside me and narrate my morning shits.
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.