3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
Randomize
