Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(813): View more from Florida

Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.

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(208): View more from Idaho

I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy

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(864): View more from South Carolina

A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!

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(925): View more from California

Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.

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Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July
Read it at the TFLN blog
(773): View more from Illinois

I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.

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(440): View more from Ohio

I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends

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(651): View more from Minnesota

I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".

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(832): View more from Houston, Texas

They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.

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(480): View more from Arizona

Can I get my morals surgically removed?

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