Non-Jews are for practice
I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
broke, out of weed, out of gas, out of food, and my gf just left me.
you're writing country songs now?
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
25 People Confess The Biggest Betrayal They Have Ever Faced
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
25 Odd Things These Pathetic People Do For Enjoyment
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.