i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.