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• (919): View more from North Carolina

  great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with

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• (704): View more from North Carolina

  Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.

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• (404): View more from Georgia

  She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.

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• (847): View more from Illinois

  She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.

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  23 Strangest Things That Gave Dudes A Boner

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• (206): View more from Washington

  I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.

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• (928): View more from Arizona

  I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"

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• (731): View more from Tennessee

  Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!

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• (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain

  (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum

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• (973): View more from New Jersey

  Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.

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  These 21 People Shouldn’t Be Giving Dating Advice

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• (513): View more from Ohio

  Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.

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• (707): View more from California

  My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?

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• (408): View more from California

  I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?

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• (646): View more from New York

  i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.

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• (336): View more from North Carolina

  We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.

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• (773): View more from Illinois

  I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.

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