The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
I drank a fishbowl of liquor and next thing I know I'm sliding into Zach Galifinakis' DMs
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
Randomize
