No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
Randomize
