Sponge bath it is.
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
He literally asked permission to hit on me
Dude I left his house at 5:30 a.m. after you peed on his front door and then tried to fight me for my blanket. Don't even do that at my house or I will end you.
hahahahaha. Worst. Text. Ever.
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
Randomize
