Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
That awkward moment when you're drunk enough to crave cocaine, but you're sober enough to know it's only Tuesday.
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
Randomize
