Why the fuck do they always fuck on couches in porn?
Don't ever text me while you're jacking off. EVER.
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
sex in a hospital.. check
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
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