i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
Randomize
