we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
Thanks for the hickies, asshole. I make my living as a fitness instructor. It's gonna look reeeeeeal weird if I have to wear a scarf while teaching Zumba all week.
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
Randomize