Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
Randomize
