Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
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she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
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I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
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