i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
If you're not going to call the girls I bring around by name, at least don't call them by number. It's been cockblocking since girl #47. Dick.
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
I told the emergency room nurse I didn't want to stop and ruin the moment. She said safewords are there for a reason. Super condescending. Got her number though.
Turns out it's a fake number.
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
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