we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
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