you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
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