Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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