some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
I've got a tequila scented hand sanitizer for you.
you're the best roommate i could ever have.
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
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