There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
Randomize
