It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
you're like a bully in the Christmas story
Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
Randomize
