My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
It’s bad enough my brother slept with half of the sorority this year, but now he’s lifeguarding at the club and every divorcée and cougar in town is asking me for his number. My twin is a manwhore and I’ve become his pimp.
Randomize
