I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
Randomize
