You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
I need a hoe opinion
go on
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
Randomize
