I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
Randomize
