that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
all i tweeted was "emergency this is not a drill" and he immediately texted me asking if this was a subtle booty call…it was
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
