I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
So the same great-aunt that told me to freeze my eggs for procreation just told me that I should strut around the dance floor b/c I'd get picked up.
I need to meet your family.
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