Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
Randomize
