I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
I tried to walk home in my heels. And I fell into a snow bank. And then I cried and a policeman came up to me and said I can't sit in a snowbank and got me a cab. So maybe that's where I left my credit card. I remember the cop asking me if I was old enough to drink, too. OMG. How embarrassing. Pretty sure I told him to "leave me alone."
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
Randomize
