A little boy walked by his parents room one night, looked through the keyhole, and said "and that bitch tells me to stop sucking my thumb!"
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
Randomize
