i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
Randomize
