whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
She tried to beat the waitress over the head with a bread stick because one of her martini olives was missing a pimento. All while screaming "IT'S GAMEDAY BITCH"
Olive Garden will never be the same.
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
Randomize
