I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
