Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
Okay, this next statement may sound like a red flag but I'm tellin you, shotgunning those two beers really helped me love my child more effectively. Honest.
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
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