You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
i think my cat just said my name.
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
Randomize
