dude, i woke up naked in her front yard...apparently i tried to leave in the middle of the night, forgot my clothes and decided,"oh heres a nice patch of grass to sleep on" I think god is up there laughing at me.
I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
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