youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
Randomize
