Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
Randomize
