Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
My boob is missing a layer of skin
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
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