he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
Randomize
