so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Randomize
