When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
Thank God I didn't lose my virginity to that asshole. That woulda been like winnin a raffle ticket for a free bag of dog shit. But with like a really pretty bag. A pretty bag full of dog shit.
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
I love you.
Bad choice
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