I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
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We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
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Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
Let's get the cat blown out
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
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