so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
Randomize
