Quick, to the slutcave!
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
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