its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
Randomize