I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
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