When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
Ya’ll! My debit card got switched with my boss’ at lunch today (both Red Wells Fargo)....I realized it at whole foods AFTER I ran it for $100 at Vanity Room getting my vaj waxed 🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️. Most awkward IOU ever tomorrow.
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
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