just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
Randomize
