She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
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There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
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Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
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