not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
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