i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
These People Are The Epitome of Lazy
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
it's like heaven, but drunker
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
Disturbing Scenes People Witnessed As Children
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
Well I just put wine in my tea
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.