You drinking a lot?
Define a lot
i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
smell my finger.
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
These 31 People Are Lazier Than You Could Ever Imagine
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
27 Drunk People That Pissed Off The Cops And Got What They Deserved
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
I left myself a note saying 'buy a hamster but not an orange one like this pen'
omg so drunk
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.