so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
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he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
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Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.