For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
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I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
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He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.