my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
These 29 Nasty People Went To The Bathroom In Public
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
19 People Who Had An Inappropriate Celebrity Encounter
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.