Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
Yea i'm supposed to have jury duty on monday. Hope they don't mind me still being drunk.
Na you can't get charged for public intoxication unless you're outside. I checked.
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
Sitting in bed reading a porn novel off my phone and accidentally just made Siri start reading the most graphic part aloud. FUN FIRST NIGHT WITH THE NEW ROOMIE.
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
Randomize
