Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
Randomize
