I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
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