i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
Dental hygienist just pulled two flakes of glitter out. And asked me how i've been doing with the divorce.
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
We're hate flirting, damnit.
Randomize
