that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
Randomize
