It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
Where are you?
In a non slutty way
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
there is puke in my bra ... again
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