oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
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