WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
Randomize
