We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
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