There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
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