She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
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